Healing from chronic illness often focuses on physical symptoms: finding the right doctor, adjusting your diet, exercising, and taking prescribed medications and/or supplements. But my true healing journey went much deeper, as I realized that unresolved trauma, shame, and the stories I carried within were holding me back and may have been the original perpetrators of a lifetime of health issues. It wasn't enough to treat symptoms—healing meant addressing the connection between my mind and body, each influencing the other in profound ways. In his book, The Mindbody Prescription, Dr. John Sarno explains: “ I believe that everyone has mindbody physical symptoms. Few people, if any, go through life without one or more such manifestations, for they reflect the evolutionary contemporary organization of the human psyche. More importantly, these manifestations demonstrate that there is no separation between mind and body; that the two are inextricably intertwined. One cannot study the pathology of human disease without factoring in the role of the psyche.”
For years, I battled recurring health issues that doctors couldn’t explain. I was told my symptoms were “all in my head,” only compounding my frustration and sense of isolation. Even after successfully treating mold illness and late-stage Lyme with various holistic interventions, lingering symptoms constantly made me question my progress. I did not grasp the mindbody connection at the time. In my mind, they were separate entities. According to Candace Pert, Neuroscientist, Pharmacologist and author of Molecules of Emotion, who discovered the opiate receptor in 1974, our mind is in every cell of our body. She first suggested that the words mind and body be joined. “Most psychologists treat the mind as disembodied, a phenomenon with little or no connection to the physical body. Conversely, physicians treat the body with no regard to the mind or the emotions. But the body and mind are not separate, and we cannot treat one without the other.” Although 80% of all messages flow from the body to the brain, I spent much of my life disconnected—living from the neck up and unaware of the vital signals my body was trying to communicate.
Connection is vital to well-being. Dr. Catherine Clinton has said, “People with chronic illness have a lack of safety, a lack of belonging.” That struck a chord. As a former member and employee of a high-control religious organization, I experienced a profound sense of disconnection and a constant fear of losing my community. This fear, deeply ingrained in my body, became a source of stress as potent as any physical illness. The narratives of rejection, shame, and the struggle for acceptance had been simmering within me, fueling physical symptoms that I now understand were my body’s way of communicating. As I dug deeper into my past, I saw that the origins of my health issues went back further than I initially realized. Childhood experiences, societal expectations, and the religious environment I was in contributed to a sense of not being good enough, of needing to conform to survive. These old wounds, carried silently for years, had seeped into my body. The shame I felt—the feeling of being flawed and less than—was not just an emotional experience; it had become a physical one. Autoimmunity—a condition where the immune system turns on itself—felt like a mirror of my inner experience. Silencing my intuition and denying my feelings left me in a state of self-abandonment. Shame, a powerful burden shared by many women, lay at the heart of it all. Dr. Will Cole calls this "shameflammation," highlighting the link between chronic shame and health issues.
The turning point came when I began to truly listen to my body’s signals. Jennifer Mann, a body-mind health expert, and co-author of The Secret Language of the Body notes that “Our physiology reflects the state of our nervous system.” For years, my constantly triggered nervous system showed up as stomach issues, fatigue, nightmares, insomnia, irritability, anxiety, and a dysregulated gut-brain connection. It wasn’t until about 6 months ago that I began to truly understand what was happening. When I did, I started tuning into my body’s language through breathwork and mindfulness, realizing that my symptoms weren’t enemies—they were messages, offering opportunities to heal the unaddressed parts of my story. Healing was also about releasing the shame that I carried, specifically from years of being in a high control religious environment. According to Janja Lalich, PhD and Associate Professor of Sociology at California State University, and author of Take Back Your Life (Recovering from Cults and Abusive Relationships), “Shame is toxic. It cripples your self-esteem and halts your emotional healing.”
In 1988, 4 years after joining the high control religious organization I lost complete autonomy over my life, coerced by shame and humiliation into ending a blossoming relationship and leaving a job I loved. I didn’t realize I had been pulled into a power structure that eroded my identity, dreams, and desires. It was a coach/therapist who first helped me see the profound impact the high-control organization had on my life. That awareness marked the beginning of my journey. Unraveling the devastation has taken years, and through story work and body work, I’ve uncovered memories buried for over three decades. Though I’ve made significant progress, I’m still very much a work in progress.
For 35 years, I lived under the weight of shame, guilt, fear, people-pleasing and anxiety fueled by both internal and external pressures. I ignored my inner voice, lacked healthy boundaries, denying my needs and navigating around toxic behaviors, only to lose myself in the process. Severing certain relationships has left lasting physical effects, a reflection of the mind-body connection.
In an interview, Dr. Gabor Mate shares, “I was struck by how consistently the lives of people with chronic illness are characterized by emotional shut down: the paralysis of “negative” emotions--in particular, the feeling and expression of anger. This pattern held true in a wide range of diseases from cancer, rheumatoid arthritis and multiple sclerosis to inflammatory bowel disorder, chronic fatigue syndrome and amyotrophic lateral sclerosis (ALS). Sufferers from asthma, psoriasis, migraines, fibromyalgia, endometriosis and a host of other conditions also exhibited similar inhibitions. People seemed incapable of considering their own emotional needs and were driven by a compulsive sense of responsibility for the needs of others. They all had difficulty saying no.”
Understanding my timeline has allowed me to begin to rewrite my story. It’s a step toward reclaiming my God-given autonomy, healing my body, and moving forward without the weight of guilt and shame. Learning about the mind-body connection has profoundly shifted how I view my physical symptoms. Instead of rushing to silence them or analyzing what I’ve eaten in the past 24 hours, I now ask, “What is my body trying to tell me?” or “What emotion or sensation I am feeling?” Symptoms have become guides, highlighting areas in need of balance and compassion. As Candace Pert aptly said, “Since emotions run every system in the body, don’t underestimate their power to treat and heal.” This journey of unlearning—replacing limiting beliefs with inner trust—has brought me closer to wholeness than any external treatment ever could.
Though the journey has been challenging and continues to teach me and deepen my awareness, I now see with clarity that my health issues were not just struggles—they were the catalysts that saved both my life and my soul.
Key Takeaways for Healing:
Listen to Body Signals: Be curious; see symptoms as messages, not just problems to “fix.”
Prioritize Connection and Safety: Reconnect with yourself and build a supportive environment.
Practice Breathwork and Mindfulness: Tune into sensations to reclaim control.
Understand the Gut-Brain Link: Recognize how stress affects your digestion.
Be Curious About Beliefs: Explore how deep-seated narratives affect your health.
Release Shame and Honor Intuition: Self-compassion and intuition fuel healing.
Engage in Story and Body Work: Integrate practices that process both mind and body.
Actively Participate in Healing: Be curious, compassionate, and involved in your journey.
Healing is an ongoing dialogue between body, mind, and environment—one that calls us to listen deeply and trust the wisdom within. Yet so many, especially women, struggle to trust themselves. Exploring the mind-body connection with the support of a health coach or licensed therapist can offer invaluable clarity and self-awareness on this journey.
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